The World Has Somehow Shifted
There’s a particularly unnerving sensation you feel when the lights are out.
I’m not talking about before the lamp gets turned on. I’m talking about the middle of the night when you look at the ceiling and the only reason you know that’s what you’re looking at is because your head is turned upwards.
The kind of lights out moment when you can’t see a crack in the door, or the patio light, or even the glow of the moon through the window.
The kind of darkness that envelopes everything you thought you knew until you have to let go of all your reservations.
That’s the kind of dark day that had been plaguing me.
And if this day had happened six years ago, it might have ended much differently.
All That Time Never Truly Seeing Things The Way They Were
The notch on the timeline of my life six years ago is a complete black hole. It’s enveloped by a darkness without a face, without a glimmer of hope.
It’s not the kind of day I like to reminisce on.
All Those Years Watching Through the Windows
It’s not uncommon for Christians to look back on their lives and speculate on what they would have been if Christ hadn’t found them. Drunks, drug addicts, prostitutes, the answers vary in degrees of sin struggles. But my answer is simple.
If the light hadn’t come into my life, if Christ hadn’t pulled me from my darkness, I wouldn’t be here.
And there’s nothing glamorous about that truth, because I wouldn’t only not be the person I am today; I wouldn’t be here at all.
Never Truly Seeing Things The Way They Were
That day as I left class I plugged in my iPod to my car radio and out began “I See the Light” from Tangled.
I love Disney movies. I love musicals. I especially love sweet love songs that someone creates to convey just how lost before they found their soul. So it wasn’t a surprise that this had been what song I had left off on before I went to class because it’s truly one of my favorites.
What was surprising was how I responded to it.
And at last I see the light, and it’s like the fog has lifted. And at last I see the light, and it’s like the sky is new.
Usually when the lights are out we fumble down the wall, grasping for something steady to cling to in the darkness.
And if you fall? The hardest thing after losing your stronghold, after your world shifts, is to stand up again and continue moving forward. But you have to. Especially if you ever want to find the light switch.
And in hearing those words, everything did shift.
Suddenly it wasn’t about a girl with long hair and an outlaw who turned out to be a prince. It was about me. It was about God. It was about that one night I looked up and realized exactly how dark my life was.
It was about the night that God lit up a path for me out of my darkness.
All At Once, Everything Looks Different, Now That I See You.
Had God not pulled me from that darkness, I wouldn’t be here. A life would have ceased to exist and hope for what could have been would have been switched off.
But it wasn’t.
God bless the journey to get me to where I needed to be. But it didn’t stop with a single lit path.
He lights paths for me every single day.
I’m not always the best at following the well-lit paths. Sometimes I stray back into the darkness, as I did that day.
All That Time Never Even Knowing Just How Blind I’ve Been.
Yet again and again Christ shows me His light.
The Bible says 7×70, which is way too big of a number for this English Major, but that’s how many chances He gives. No matter how many times we screw up. No matter how many times we walk off the path He’s lit up for us. 7×70.
Certainly more than any of us deserves.
Certainly more than I want to give Him when I feel disappointed or I don’t understand His ways.
Again and again and again God shows up and shows out, especially when I least deserve it.
Every time I fall, every time I head for the light switch to turn it off, He lifts the fog and everything looks different.
The cool thing about hope is that it doesn’t usually show up how we’re expecting it.
Hope usually doesn’t come onto the scene like a floating lantern, or a bandit singing to you in a rowboat.
Hope shows up in the small moments.
The simple act of kindness.
The smile you receive walking to class from a stranger.
The random “I love you” text from a friend.
Hope is there, tangled up inside the chaos and darkness. Hope showed up 2000 years ago, and He hasn’t left since. It’s up to you to let Him shine through and light your path.
Everything Is Different, Now That I See You…
HEBREWS 6:19 SAYS,
“We have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul. A HOPE both sure, and steadfast.”